{"id":2311,"date":"2022-05-30T22:59:55","date_gmt":"2022-05-30T22:59:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/?page_id=2311"},"modified":"2025-11-23T18:05:34","modified_gmt":"2025-11-23T18:05:34","slug":"una-invasio-monstruosa","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/obra_literiaria_helena_jubany\/una-invasio-monstruosa\/","title":{"rendered":"Una invasi\u00f3 monstruosa"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;7px|||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_4,3_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/cristalls-portada-helenajubany.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Els cristalls de les terres del nord i altres contes, d&#8217;Helena Jubany&#8221; url=&#8221;@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9saW5rX3VybF9wYWdlIiwic2V0dGluZ3MiOnsicG9zdF9pZCI6IjIyOTYifX0=@&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _dynamic_attributes=&#8221;url&#8221; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_code admin_label=&#8221;Una invasi\u00f3 monstruosa&#8221; module_id=&#8221;invasio&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221;]<iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.ivoox.com\/player_ej_97371151_6_1.html?c1=cb000f\" width=\"100%\" height=\"200\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\" scrolling=\"no\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/iframe>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_menu menu_id=&#8221;52&#8243; active_link_color=&#8221;#CB000F&#8221; dropdown_menu_bg_color=&#8221;#D8D9DD&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; menu_font=&#8221;Roboto Slab||||||||&#8221; menu_text_color=&#8221;#C2C3C9&#8243; menu_font_size=&#8221;16px&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_menu][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;3_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h1><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1550\" src=\"http:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/biografia\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/03-invasio-capsal.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"600\" \/><\/h1>\n<h1><strong>Una invasi\u00f3 monstruosa<\/strong><\/h1>\n<h5>[Un conte d&#8217;Helena Jubany amb il\u00b7lustraci\u00f3 de Teo Perea]<\/h5>\n<p>Aquell mat\u00ed de dissabte feia una fresca especial. L\u2019Elizabet, com cada dia, treu el seu gos a passejar. Van a la pla\u00e7a m\u00e9s propera, tota coberta de sorra i envoltada d\u2019arbres alts com un Sant Pau. El gos busca un espai qualsevol de la pla\u00e7a, per\u00f2 curiosament n\u2019hi ha un que fa una olor que l\u2019atrau. All\u00e0 inicia el seu proc\u00e9s d\u2019expulsi\u00f3 de tot all\u00f2 que el seu est\u00f3mac ha decidit durant la nit que no vol pair, all\u00f2 que no li serveix per a res.<\/p>\n<p>L\u2019Elizabet sempre s\u2019encarrega que totes les defecacions del seu gos vagin a parar a una brossa especial per a aquest tipus de material, que transporta mitjan\u00e7ant una bossa. Per si de cas, sempre comprova que no estigui foradada.<\/p>\n<p>Aquest mat\u00ed, per\u00f2, aquest dia que nota al clatell una fresca especial, l\u2019Elizabet es queda de pasta de moniato quan s\u2019adona que l\u2019excrement del seu gos no \u00e9s un excrement qualsevol: t\u00e9 una forma totalment arrodonida, com si fos una pilota de pingpong. Tan sorpresa queda, l\u2019Elizabet, que decideix que aquesta caca tan maca i rodona no cal pas collir-la. I la deixa plantada all\u00e0 mateix, se\u2019n torna cap a casa i no se\u2019n preocupa m\u00e9s.<\/p>\n<p>No passen gaires minuts que d\u2019aquella perfecta circumfer\u00e8ncia en tres dimensions de la qual emana una pudor repugnant en comencen a sortir una mena d\u2019\u00e9ssers que jo no havia vist mai, sobretot perqu\u00e8 nom\u00e9s s\u00f3n visibles amb un microscopi. N\u2019hi ha de mil formes i colors: d\u2019allargassats amb antenes i una cua petita, de rodons amb uns ulls com unes taronges i orelles min\u00fascules que gaireb\u00e9 no es veuen, en forma de pop per\u00f2 nom\u00e9s amb quatre potes que acaben amb unes extremitats arrodonides o triangulars segons l\u2019esp\u00e8cie, i d\u2019altres tan horribles que no s\u00f3c ni capa\u00e7 de descriure.<\/p>\n<p>Doncs b\u00e9, tots aquests \u00e9ssers desconeguts fins aquells dies pels humans nom\u00e9s van necessitar unes poques hores per fer-se famosos i sortir a totes les televisions i diaris. La not\u00edcia de l\u2019aparici\u00f3 d\u2019aquests personatges va viatjar arreu del m\u00f3n, ja fos via hertziana, via sat\u00e8l\u00b7lit o per Internet.<\/p>\n<p>Segur que no us imagineu per qu\u00e8 es van fer tan famosos. I no s\u00e9 pas si tindr\u00e9 temps d\u2019acabar d\u2019explicar aquesta hist\u00f2ria abans no envaeixin casa meva.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/biografia\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/invasio-monstruosa.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-222 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/biografia\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/invasio-monstruosa.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1500\" height=\"1500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Aquests \u00e9ssers, que ja us puc avan\u00e7ar que s\u00f3n una mena de monstres, van comen\u00e7ar a escalar les parets de les cases del poble de l\u2019Elizabet. Una per una, anaven entrant a totes les cases, ja fos per la finestra, per la xemeneia o b\u00e9 per l\u2019escletxa que queda a sota de les portes.<\/p>\n<p>Primer van entrar a casa del barber, que es deia Josep. Aquests monstres es van introduir en tots els aparells el\u00e8ctrics que en Josep tenia a la barberia: l\u2019assecador, la m\u00e0quina d\u2019esquilar, l\u2019interruptor del llum, la r\u00e0dio&#8230; De tots els aparells en van comen\u00e7ar a sortir espurnes i van deixar de funcionar en pocs minuts.<\/p>\n<p>Per\u00f2 en Josep no va ser l\u2019\u00fanic que va patir aquesta desgr\u00e0cia; els monstres tamb\u00e9 es van introduir a cal carnisser, en Manel\u00f3, que es va quedar sense els estris el\u00e8ctrics per tallar la carn, sense les neveres i les cambres on guardava tot el g\u00e8nere, sense la m\u00e0quina de fer croquetes i hamburgueses&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I els monstres tamb\u00e9 van entrar a cal mec\u00e0nic, i a ca l\u2019arquitecte, i a l\u2019oficina de correus, i al supermercat&#8230; I a casa de l\u2019Elizabet, i a casa dels seus ve\u00efns, i a casa dels seus amics i dels seus coneguts. Ning\u00fa no es va salvar de les urpes d\u2019aquells petits monstres, gaireb\u00e9 invisibles per a qualsevol ull hum\u00e0.<\/p>\n<p>Al mas agr\u00edcola tamb\u00e9 hi van entrar, per\u00f2 en Jaume, el pag\u00e8s, estava tan distret carregant les verdures que havia de portar a pla\u00e7a, a la ciutat, que no es va adonar de les destrosses que estaven fent a casa seva, amb la televisi\u00f3, el v\u00eddeo, l\u2019ordinador&#8230; I tampoc no es va adonar que un petit col\u00b7lectiu d\u2019aquests mons tres es van colar a la seva furgoneta i es van acomodar entre els seients i les caixes de verdura fresca.<\/p>\n<p>La fugoneta va fer el mateix trajecte que feia cada dissabte al mat\u00ed quan es dirigia cap al mercat, va fer les mateixes giragonses i els mateixos quil\u00f2metres que feia cada setmana, per\u00f2 el que vosaltres i jo sabem \u00e9s que transportava alguna cosa m\u00e9s que verdura, alguna cosa que en poques hores faria canviar radicalment la vida a ciutat.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><a class=\"aligncenter download-button\" href=\"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/contacta-amb-lassociacio-helena-jubany\/\" rel=\"nofollow\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; 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L\u2019Elizabet, com cada dia, treu el seu gos a passejar. Van a la pla\u00e7a m\u00e9s propera, tota coberta de sorra i envoltada d\u2019arbres alts com un Sant Pau. El gos busca un espai qualsevol de [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":2296,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2311","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2311"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5220,"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2311\/revisions\/5220"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2296"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/helena.jubany.cat\/associacio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}